Conditional and Unconditional Love

Driven by true love and care, giving advice to a family member or a friend should NOT be confused with the often misused term "conditional love".

"Conditional love", in my humble opinion, is an oxymoron.

Let me explain:

When conditions are imposed in a relationship, then it becomes more of a transaction, one that addresses the needs of the person invoking the condition(s). That, in it and of itself is a major departure from "true love".

In its simplest form: "true love" is built on mutual respect and mutual acceptance of the differences between the parties concerned. This includes differences in opinion where "agreeing to disagree" is a key cornerstone of a healthy loving relationship.

If you believe that "conditional love" is an oxymoron, then the use of the term "unconditional love" is worthy of the following consideration:

Based on the above reasoning, there's only one form of love, namely "true love". If that notion sits well with you, then perhaps you will agree that the word "unconditional" is redundant in the same way as the word "back" in the commonly misused term "returning back"! There's only one place to return to and that is "back"!

In closing, I wish to invoke one more notion for your consideration. Conditional friendship also, by and large, conforms to the above analysis about love. However, unlike the case of love, if and when the word "conditional" is used in describing a friendship it implies that before the conditions were placed the parties were adversaries as is the case of friendly and (once upon a time unfriendly) countries! Examples are beyond the scope of this note but I'm sure you can think of some!!!

I am open to comments and advice on the above thoughts because I truly love you!

Hani Badawi
February 24, 2017

Change is the only constant!

In a worldly, non-religious or spiritual sense, the notion that "There's nothing more constant than change" is often stated to reflect that change is inevitable.

In the branch of physics known as classical mechanics there are two types of energy, namely: kinetic (dynamic) and potential (static) energy. Energy spent in resisting "change" happens to be kinetically wasted and potentially damaging!

Embrace change and let it propel you into new realms that otherwise you would never discover!

Hani Badawi
February 18, 2017

Specialization and Generalization

Someone said that “specialization is the process of knowing more and more about less and less until you know everything about nothing”!

How about generalization? I say: It is the process of knowing less and less about more and more until you know nothing about everything!!!!

Perhaps the happy medium is the process of “enhancement of knowledge” whereby there is more than less a benefit gained by the learner :-).


Hani Badawi
February 17, 2017

Politicians/Actors and the Art of Deception

If you agree that most politicians are crooked, and if you agree that politics is not only exercised within and between governments, then what you're witnessing now in the USA is a play where the directors, producers, actors, lighting, prompting and stage managers are openly playing their roles without due consideration of either the script (the constitution) or the audience's (citizens of the USA and the world at large) knowledge and/or expectations.

In essence I think what we are watching is the unfolding of a Greek or Roman tragedy of biblical proportions and remember, we are only witnessing Act 1, Scene 1.

Of all the playwrights no one portrayed the ultimate fate and demise of a tragic hero better than Shakespeare. In all his plots, ambition and greed underlined the causes that led to the heroes downfall.

Let's also not forget the importance of the supernatural events and fortune tellers in Shakespeare's plays (e.g. The Soothsayer in Julius Caesar and The Three Witches in Macbeth) whose indications and forecasts were eerily realized!

In the above, my hope is that what I described is just a narration of a nightmare and that when I wake up things will be fine!

Hani Badawi
January 24, 2017

Matchmakers: Are they still around?

The first thing that comes to my mind when I hear the word "matchmaker" is a "go between" person whose profession is to find a match for a person (man or woman) who is seeking help in finding a person to marry.

Without delving deep into the origins and history of the matchmaker profession, I think it is safe to say that it has existed in different cultures over many centuries. Their existence was, and, in some cultures still is, driven by the fact that opposite sexes were/are not allowed to mingle either unsupervised or at all. That's when the services of a matchmaker becomes indispensable as she/he will have all the "vital" information pertaining to individuals of both sexes, and which, upon request by their match-seeking customers (usually parents of the bride or groom to be), they would share the information for a negotiated fee in the form of a retainer and/or commission to be paid at the successful conclusion of a match or matrimony to be precise!

The aforementioned "vital" information was often tweaked by the matchmakers to enable them to conclude the transactions for which their services were sought. Effectively, as a con(sequence) they may end up being the sole beneficiary of the deal!  In my life I've seen many movies where this type of crooked behavior was exercised. Most notably, some of you may recall the matchmaker character in "Fiddler on the Roof" but there are many other examples!

This brings me to the question: Have matchmakers evolved in time to cover non-matrimonial type matchmaking?  To address this question, let me review here a few activities and professions that are ubiquitous to us today.

Headhunters and/or Recruiters: Their job, much like the matchmakers of the past, is to connect a recruiting organization to a candidate whose credentials (like the previously mentioned vital information) are aligned. Retainers and commissions are typically paid by the hiring organization to the headhunters at the successful conclusion of their hiring the job seeking candidate.

Online Dating: I'm sure you'll agree that this fits the matchmaking function, of course with the exclusion of parents interference or control! Like matchmakers of the past, online dating organizations use vital information (hopefully without manipulation) to bring individuals together, however, matrimony in their case may not necessarily be the only motivating force!

Other credible and legitimate examples that, in part, bear some resemblance to the old matchmaking technique, with the caveat that they do not match individuals with other individuals, include service providers such as financial and insurance brokers and real estate agents aka as realtors.

In conclusion, I think that the matchmaking job and/or technique has continued to evolve and morph and, yes, matchmakers are still very much around!

Hani Badawi
January 1, 2017

Change!

This note is about the verb "change" and not the noun change (e.g. coins of low denomination, fresh set of clothing, etc. )!

We often talk about the need to change, adapting to change, change of attitude, mind or ways. In all these examples we are talking about self motivated change that in most cases is driven by circumstances that have unfolded in our lives and potentially resulting from emulating people we admire.

A change in our lives may occur either slowly (over the years) or rapidly as a result of a single-event upset. Rate of change will differ from one individual to another and therefore I will leave that statement in its present form rather than attempting to break it down further!

It is a fact of life that as we grow older we will slow down in performing several activities that we were previously able to do. However, because of our changing world and technological innovations, we may also continue to learn new skills and, as a result, we may perform activities which were previously unavailable!

Arguments for and against whether or not change in our lives is preordained has posed itself over the centuries. Whereas I am not sufficiently versed in either religious or philosophical dogma to unequivocally answer that question, my instinct, coupled with my acquired with age logic, prompts me to conclude that, like light, which has a dual nature of wave and particle, change must have a similar duality in nature too.

After all, if all change is preordained, what control do we have over our lives? Whether we believe in a Supreme power or in forces of nature, fairness dictates that we must have a clear choice in many aspects of change in our lives, and, of course, by the same token, you can make your own choice as to what to believe!

Hani Badawi

December 4, 2016

Howling Politicians

When vociferous careless politicians howl out statements in all directions, ultimately some of them are bound to stick. The ones that don't resonate are often forgotten until they reappear and manifest themselves as the ones that pertain to the core of the howler!

Hani Badawi
November 17, 2016